


Things that matter

by Eshnoazot



Series: Avengers prompt ficathon [9]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Steve Rogers, Darcy is a bamf, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 23:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1244299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshnoazot/pseuds/Eshnoazot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey Rocky, are you feeling okay?" Darcy finally announced, as she chewed on her lip, "You're ticking 9 out of 10 check boxes on Bruce's totally ridiculous but endearing 'top ten signs of the impending Hulkpocalypse'- well, he called it the 'emergence of the Other Guy' but I was sensing some serious context."</p>
<p>"I'm fine."</p>
<p>"Clearly," Darcy rolled her eyes, "So how about we skip the next ten minutes where I try to weasel your issues out of you with the same level of difficulty as Pepper removing Tony's alcohol supply, and use the wonderful boat of friendship in the name of helping you deal with whatever got on your tits before anymore pencils are snapped under your 'fine' levels of anger?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things that matter

Steve frowned at his sketchpad, and let out a silent sigh as he kneaded his eraser. At first he'd thought that it was a good idea; Dr Banner advocated for hobbies to remove residual anger, after all. But every slip of his pencil, or worse,  _slip of his concentration_ , made his muscles clamp back up and fire more anger through his veins.

Anger was... _ridiculous_.

Slunk over an armchair directly facing him, Darcy stared with thoughtful blue eyes. It was disconcerting to have the usually talkative and bright woman silently study him. Not even Tony, or Bruce had ever reached this level of scrutiny, and they were scientists who were all too curious about the concoction of super-soldier drugs pumped into his body. He grit his teeth and firmly told himself that directing his anger towards her was not only inappropriate but  _wrong,_ and stared back down at the sketchpad with more anger than the paper had ever deserved.

Though his gaze was pointed away from her, he could still feel her eyes on him. Digging, probing, but wary enough to not question him. Maybe she was more of a scientist than he had first thought; maybe science leeched into her the same way that the modern world had leeched into him. She certainly spent enough time, wrangling scientists with an easy smile.

He glanced up, met her eyes, and glanced back down.

Although unnerved, he focused back on his sketchpad, and tried to remember the clean and sharp architecture of the church he'd passed earlier in the day. A memory exercise; to sharpen the details he could recall- not only helpful in his line of work, but also something that could be of fundamental lifesaving importance.

His pencil tip snapped.

"Hey Rocky, are you feeling okay?" Darcy finally announced, as she chewed on her lip, "You're ticking 9 out of 10 check boxes on Bruce's totally ridiculous but endearing  _'top ten signs of the impending Hulkpocalypse'_ \- well, he called it the  _'emergence of the Other Guy'_  but I was sensing some serious context."

"I'm fine."

" _Clearly_ ," Darcy rolled her eyes, "So how about we skip the next ten minutes where I try to weasel your issues out of you with the same level of difficulty as _Pepper removing Tony's alcohol supply_ , and use the wonderful boat of friendship in the name of helping you deal with whatever got on your tits before anymore pencils are snapped under your 'fine' levels of anger?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and gritted his teeth, but Darcy stared back at him with steely eyes that boasted the same strength as his shield. 

"It's ridiculous," He finally admitted, setting aside his sketchbook, "Something just hit me today-  _does anything I do actually matter_? This morning, civilians died, and I know that there are always casualties, I've ever learned that it's not my fault, but I  _recognized_  some of them. I saved them once, and now they're  _dead_. This is ridiculous, this  _whole damn world_  is ridiculous. Nothing I do actually made a  _damn_  difference!"

Darcy eyed him curiously and swung her legs back down, until her feet were planted firmly on the ground.

"They were in the  _wrong place, at the wrong time_ ," She firmly stated, "Steve, look at me. Do you honestly feel like nothing you do  _matters_? I think the suits were wrong when they jacked up some textbooks about the world into your brain, they missed out on a bunch of important stuff. Like you.  _They didn't tell you about you_."

"Well, an introduction would have been nice," He dryly responded.

"I hear he's a super-soldier but I'll say no more," Darcy mimed zipping her lips, "But I'm being serious. Do you know how many people you've inspired? Generations of Artists, Activists, Doctors- There's millions of people who owe their lives to you, and I don't just mean in an  _Bruce Lee_   _action movie close combat smackdown_ , I mean, you inspire people to be the  _best that they can be_. What you do  _matters_."

Steve inhaled deeply, and slowly breathed out, "Those people were inspired by Captain America. If I wasn't here, right now, they would still have done what was in their hearts, anyway. That doesn't excuse that my actions here and now,  _aren't working_. I'm fighting against an ocean, Darcy. In the grand scheme,  _nothing I do_   _matters_. People still  _die_."

Darcy frowned, and chewed on her lip, "I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. Hell, neither would my whole family. That matters to  _me_."

Steve glanced up at her with a hesitant expression.

"June 22nd, I think, 1943? My grandfather was really young, and some grungy dude took him hostage. But y'know what? Someone saved him. Armed with a  _freaking_  taxi door," Darcy grinned, "The grungy dude threw him in the ocean- big mistake we Lewis' are  _waterbabies_ \- and though it cost him time, the taxi-wielding super-soldier still made sure he was _okay_."

_'It's okay, I can swim!'_ The memory of the small boy ran through his head, as he tried to compare their faces.

"-That's why great-grandma Edith made sure every generation of Lewis' had our waterlegs by age 5, and why my Uncle Rogers-  _try and guess THAT name dedication_ \- didn't drown when he drank too much Tequila at Grandma Lewis's beach party."

Steve paused, his face moving with his thoughts; fluid and quickly. He was silent for what felt like an eternity, but Darcy stared at him with an easy smile that held nothing but encouragement.

"Steve?" Darcy tried again, with an optimistic smile, " _If_ _nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."_

Steve sighed and nodded, "Thank you Darcy."

"No worries,  _mon Capitaine_!" Darcy grinned, "I'm 100% sure that Son of Coul would disown me from this borderline incestuous family of super dorks if I allowed Steve Rogers to feel  _sad_. Heck, Dad would probably bypass the treason charge and go straight to  _'crimes against humanity'_ while he sipped Irish Cocoa from his limited edition, vintage Captain America mug."

Steve snorted, and picked up his sketchpad again, "I thought that mug wasn't allowed to be taken out of the box? Something about it being a mint condition collectible?"

" _Pre-coffee Tony_ ," Darcy announced with a shudder, "On the bright-side, they're currently settling their differences by bonding over Super-nanny."


End file.
